


Poetryyyy

by Atoms



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Bad Poetry, My Poetry, Other, Poetry, poem
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:06:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27272392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atoms/pseuds/Atoms
Summary: Just some of my poems lol





	1. Loneliness

Did you know you can hurt real bad without even being touched?  
Or without anyone actually being around you?  
Cause no one being around is the pain itself.  
Even if you are surrounded by people, it still feels like no one's around.  
Its called loneliness, its what happens when you are all alone.  
You don't need a scraped knee or a busted lip to cry about this.  
The pains so bad you'll want to die so it can stop.  
Because you've tried everything and it hasn't stopped.  
You could have a thousand eyes on you, but you still aren't seen.  
So you'll try to die, you'll try whatever.  
From necklaces of rope to trying to fly.  
Even to drawing on your skin with silver and making red.  
But something always stops you, mostly yourself.  
Because you know if you're dead, you won't be there to see it.  
See the people finally be around for you, finally care about you.  
Thats all you really want, it goes hand in hand.  
Lonely people only really want to matter.  
You know how I know? I'm lonely too.


	2. The Beauty Addiction

My name is Joseya Joel McGovern and I am beautiful.

I could say that in the mirror for the rest of my life, but never will it be true.  
Perhaps the words will boost me for a while, but it won't be permanent.  
A high of false hope, enjoy it while you can, because it will crash.  
For is the feeling of being beautiful not a drug in itself?  
We'd do anything to feel it, cut our clothes, hide our blemishes, become new people entirely.  
Shave our legs until layers of skin peel off and scrub our body until its bleeding red.  
The world has shown us we can't go far without being beautiful.  
So we ache in desperation to hear it, even its only from one person.  
Until one person is not enough, ten people is not enough, a hundred people is not enough.  
We need the world to see us the way we want to see ourselves.  
But we will never see ourselves the way we want to.  
Because this addiction has taken us in, we are obsessed, and what we have will never be enough.

My name is Joseya Joel McGovern and I am addicted to being beautiful.


	3. Wishes Are Not Reality

When I lay in bed with another  
They strip their shirt, they pull at mine too  
No matter how much I rather not  
I owe them, they're here with me, so of course I owe them  
So I let them, I let them kiss me and whisper in my ear how pretty I am  
It makes me feel good, to have someone worship me, want me  
I don't want the passionate heat and crumpled bedsheets  
But its the only way, the only way to get someone to want me  
The promise of sweaty skin and foggy windows  
For the whispers of praise and want in eyes  
Thats the deal, thats the only way  
I wish for someone to wrap their arms around me  
Fall asleep stroking my hair and telling me I'm pretty  
But wishes are only that, a wish  
So I'll take what I can get  
The crumpled bedsheets, the foggy windows, and the whispers in my ear  
Because if I don't have that, I have nothing


	4. Holes

"Momma I made a hole," says the doe eyed toddler to her mom  
She's in the sandbox at the local park, she goes there everyday  
A little plastic shovel is in one hand and a bucket in the other  
All around her are little holes, she's proud of every single one  
She's all smiles, even when it's bedtime but no one tucks her in  
Cause mom and dad are yelling again, but that's okay  
All she can think about is that she made a hole

"Mommy I made a hole," says the doe eyed kid to her mom  
She's pulling her mom to see the hole she made  
But mom doesn't like the hole, its in her garden  
So mom yells for her to go to her room, making her eyes tear up  
In her room, she cries in her pillow with a blanket over her head  
It's the first time she wakes up to a damp pillow full of tear drops  
She doesn't understand why mom didn't like that she made a hole

"Mom I don't make holes anymore," says the doe eyed adolescent to her mom  
She's rolling her eyes and leaving plates at the dining table  
She doesn't tell her mom I love you when she get dropped off for school  
She turns away from her moms kisses and screams when it's not her way  
She slams her bedroom door and hangs around older kids, the bad crowd  
Her mom worries every single night when she comes home late  
Mom cries every single night, missing the doe eyed baby who made holes

"Mom my holes hurt," says the doe eyed teenager to her mom  
She came home later than normal last night, alcohol on her breath  
Mom tucked her in to bed like old times, blame mothers instinct.  
But she woke up complaining of more than a hangover  
And when it clicked, her moms heart broke, in fact it shattered  
She didn't understand why her mom was hugging her so tight and wailing  
All she knew was she wanted once more to be the doe eyed baby who made holes

"Mommy I made too many holes," says the doe eyed juvenile to her mom  
She's come downstairs in the middle of the night, her voice shaky with tears  
There's a drip and a drop, and mom sees the blood pooling by her feet  
There's a box cutter in one hand and ball of reddened tissue in the other  
She passes out in her mothers arms and wakes in the hospital  
Moms holding her hand, telling her that no mother wants to miss their child  
She's doozy on pain meds, faintly remembering what its like to make a hole

"Momma I made a hole," says the doe eyed adult to her mom  
She's got a needle in her hand and the holes by the inside of her elbow are bleeding  
She didn't stop when it started to hurt, and now she's barely breathing  
The police on the phone can hardly hear the words over Moms sobs and calls for help  
She feels her moms hands on her face and in that comfort, she exhales one last time  
And in her heaven, she's in the sandbox at the local park with a shovel and a bucket  
She's smiling, and she says "Momma I made a hole."


End file.
